Calontir At War

Background

This song was written around 2020 by Jon Chesey. It was inspired by the (sometimes) amusing tales collected by Fernando Rodriguez de Falcon in his small yellow booklets.

Lyrics

I shall tell you of my homeland,
The land of Calontir.
A land of bold tradition,
That everyone holds dear.
Stories worthy of legend,
And being told in song,
So I’ll sing you now our stories,
And pray you, sing along.

Of the time before a foreign war
Master Pavel hurt his knee
Two fighters said, “Don’t you worry sir,
You come along with me.”
They made him a scutum plainquin
And Pavel hopped right on.
Twas all good fun, until he was
Dumped in a porta-john

Chorus
Oh the things that happen,
When Calontir’s at war
Fighting. Drinking. Shennagins. And more!
You’ll always find a good time out with the Falcon Crew.
So come along and join us. We'll show you what to do.

Another time at Gulf Wars,
We learned how golf carts mate.
Some duct tape and some beer cans,
Were used to indicate,
Where they had been coming from,
And where they were headed to.
For when Falcons get together,
It’s the kinda thing we do.

Chorus

One time at Estrella,
The Falcon, so polite,
Helped a turkey find home,
In the dead of night
Never needing credit,
But not wanting it in doubt
This is actually the story,
Of why sometimes we shout:

OUTLANDS!

Chorus

Breaking from the war one day,
Pavel helped the Queen,
Do some fabric shopping,
And he said nothing mean.
But when the trip was over,
Pavel finally broke.
And that’s the day that Calontir
Learned the hamster joke.

Chorus

Now if you’ve heard these stories,
But do not get the joke,
It’s unlikely you attended,
The events of which I’ve spoke.
So next time you should come along,
When the Falcon takes to flight.
But make sure you’re well rested,
Cuz we stay up all night.

Final Chorus
Oh the things that happen,
When Calontir’s at war
Fighting. Drinking. Shennagins. And more!
You’ll always find a good time out with the Falcon Crew.
So come along and join us. And you'll have stories too.